The Power of Positivity

I've been observing at the shows here lately, a. lot. I watch parents, I watch trainers and I watch those that they are coaching, and I've come to the conclusion that those that coach with positivity, generally, have happier students and better placings. I'm not saying they don't inform their student what they do wrong, but they start off by telling them WHAT THEY DO RIGHT, then they explain what needs more practice without belittling them, making them feel inferior or calling them names.
Think about it, if you are belittled for every little mistake you do, does it make you want to try harder or just get out of the situation? Are there too many mistakes? Maybe it's time to break things down into baby steps, so that the student can succeed. When starting with a green horse or client, we have "small" goals, like stick the pivot...no matter what ELSE goes wrong in the pattern try and STICK YOUR PIVOT, this way they can come out of their class feeling the sense of ONE ACCOMPLISHMENT, which encourages them to tackle another goal (like making it straight to the judge, setting up in under 3 seconds, trotting AROUND the cone...well, you get the idea).
TEARS: I once over heard a trainer say to her crying student "I don't do tears" and walked away from the crying child. What this trainer did was abandon her student and left her student frustrated. Personally, I don't like tears either, but I've been to that point where I'm soooo frustrated that it is my frustration release mechanism. When I have a student on the verge of tears (we try not to get to the tear point, but it DOES happen), we either work through the problem together...or we take a break and come back to the problem when my student is calmer and more in control of their emotions...and I'll tell them, go take a break and we'll return to this when you feel better (no reason to point out that they are crying, most likely they are embarrassed enough just by crying). Remember that tears can come from frustration of TRYING to do it right and then feeling that failure of not getting it right, most times, if handled correctly, it will motivate your student to practice more...
NAME CALLING and BELITTLING: Usually this only manages to make the student feel worse. If they are not understanding the coach, then it is UP TO THE COACH to find a different method to teach so the student understands. Many times I can tell a student the same thing until I'm blue in the face, my husband steps in and says the same thing in a slightly different manner and TADA instant understanding. Not fortunate enough to have a partner in crime, sometimes a parent/friend of the student can help you out...most of the time it's just slight miscommunication and finding the "phrase" that your student will understand.
So if you are coaching your child, a friend, or are fortunate enough to be a mentor (meaning someone LOOKS UP TO YOU!), do so with positivity, build a person up, be a POSITIVE role model.